Natty's Web Page | ||||||||||||||||||||
| Hey, I'm Natty! I'm 13/f and I go to Friends Select in Center City Philadelphia. I like boys, so if you are one my age e-mail me, even though I already have *Jared* I have AOL instant messenger, so if you want to chat, my screen name is NatNat1221. My good friends are Sarah, Chelsey, Gwen, and Emily. See you online, and Happy Ballerino!! | |||||||||||||||||||
| These are a few of my favorite things... | ||||||||||||||||||||
| My favorite movie is Pleasantville, my favorite TV show is Dawson's Creek. My favorite musical groups are 98* Backstreet Boys and *N Sync. I also like Britney Spears. My favorite song is "Sometimes" by Britney Spears. I love singing to it and making up dances for it with my friends. I love ballet, it's so much fun. I like JARED of course, and I want to say I hate you to Kevin. My favorite food is pizza. My favorite radio station is 97.5 PST. My favorite book is "Go Ask Alice" so go read it, it's really good. That's all of my favorite things, I think. | |||||||||||||||||||
| Funny jokes.... | ||||||||||||||||||||
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1) A dog, a cat, and a penis are sitting around a campfire complaining. The dog says "my life is horrible, my master puts me on a chain and makes me pee outside." The cat then says "so what? my master makes me go in a box full of sand!" Now the penis, infuriated, says "so?? Atleast your master doesn't put a bag on your head and make you do push-ups until you throw up!! 2) In a hotel, a man accidentally elbows a nearby woman in the breast. He then says to her, "if your heart is as soft as your breast you'll forgive me." The woman replies "if your penis is as hard as your elbow then I'm in room 1221!" 3) A stuard notices 3 black women on an airplane. One is putting on make up and making her hair nice. "Why are you getting dressed up?" the stuard asked. She replied "I heard that when the plane crashed, they save the pretty ones first." The stuard moves on to the next black woman, who is making herself ugly and ratting her hair. "Why on earth are you doing that ma'am?" asked the stuard. She replied "I heard when the plane crashes they save the ugliest ones first." The stuard then moves on to the last black woman, who has her pants and panties pulled down and is pressing her pussy against the window. "By God what on Earth do you think you're doing?" the stuard asks. She replies, "I heard that when the plane crashed they look for the black box first!" 4) THINGS TO SAY AT THANKSGIVING Reach in and grab the giblets. Whew, that's one terrific spread! I'm in the mood for a little dark meat. Tying the legs together will keep the insides moist. Talk about a huge breast! "and he forced his way into the end zone..." She's 5000 pounds fully inflated and it takes 15 men to hold her down. It's Cool Whip time!!!! If I don't unbuckle my pants, I'm going to burst! It must be broken, cause when I push on the tip, nothing squirts out! 4) After a long, bumpy flight, our passengers were glad to finally land. They disembarked, and the other attendants and I checked for items left behind. In a seat pocket, I found a bag of home-made cookies with a note saying "Much love, Mom." Quickly, I gave the bag to our gate agent in hopes it would be reunited with its owner. In few minutes, this announcement came over the public-address system in the concourse: "Would the passenger who lost his cookies on Flight 502, please return to the gate?" 5) Things for your consideration ....... Why does everyone want to go to Heaven, but nobody wants to die? It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane. Take comedians seriously and politicians as a joke. 6) There's this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half-hour. Then, this big trouble making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says: "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't see a man crying." "No, it's not that. Today day is the worst of my life. First, I overslept and was late to an important meeting. My boss, outrageous, fired me. When I left the building to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police, they said they could do nothing. I got a cab to return home, and after I paid the cab driver and the cab had gone, I found that I left my wallet in the cab. I got home only to find my wife was with the gardener. I left home and came to this bar. When I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison ..." 7) Why do most Liberal Arts students have a minor in communications? So they can learn the proper way to say, 'Would you like fries with that?' 8) Beer Prayer --- Our lager, Which art in barrels, Hallowed be thy drink. Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk), At home as in the tavern. Give us this day our foamy head, And forgive us our spillages, As we forgive those who spill against us. And lead us not to incarceration, But deliver us from hangovers. For thine is the beer, The bitter and The lager. Forever and ever, Barmen 9) Truly dumb warnings/instructions On my hairdryer instructions: Do not use while sleeping. On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. On a bar of Dial soap, it says: Directions: Use like regular soap. I have a frozen dinner at home that says: Serving suggestion: Defrost. ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP IN A BOX: fits one head. 10) AN IDIOT'S IDIOT Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect was telling a lie. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed. 11) Makes You Wonder . . . We'll spend half a day looking for vitamin pills to make us live longer, then drive 90 miles an hour to make up for lost time. We tie up our dog while letting our sixteen year old son run wild. In the office we talk about baseball, shopping or fishing, but when we are out at the game, the mall or on the lake, we talk about business. 12) A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. Being a devoted husband he protested, but she said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need for his good time to be spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain; and decided to go to the party after all. In as much as her husband didn't know what costume she'd be wearing, she thought she'd have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she wasn't around. She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every chick he could, getting a little kiss here and a warm squeeze there. His wife went up to him and being rather seductive herself, he left his current partner high and dry and devoted his time to this new babe who had just arrived. She let him do whatever he wished, naturally, since he was her husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, and so off they went! Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would have for his behavior. She was sitting up reading when he came in. She asked how the evening had been? He said "Oh, the same old thing. You know, I never have a good time when you're not there." Then she asked, "Did you dance much?" He replied, "You know, I didn't dance even one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But I'll tell you...from what I heard, the guy I loaned my costume to, sure had a real good time!" 13) One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair. She looks at her mother and inquisitively asks, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then asked, "Momma, how come all of grandma's hairs are white?" 14) Woman's Quote of the Day: "Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something with which you'd like to have dinner with." Men's Counter-Quote of the Day: "Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then turn full-bodied with age until they go all sour and vinegary and give you a headache." 15) FOOD (or Beer) FOR THOUGHT A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular attrition of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. This is why you always feel smarter after a few beers! 16) Blondes Strike back What do you call going on a blind date with a brunette? Brown-bagging it. What's the real reason a brunette keeps her figure? No one else wants it. Why are so many blonde jokes one-liners? So brunettes can remember them. What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes? Invisible. What's a brunette's mating call? "Has the blonde left yet?" What do brunettes miss most about a great party? The invitation What do you call a good looking man with a brunette? A hostage 17) RANDOM THOUGHTS Spotted on the back of a Tee shirt worn by LAPD Bomb Squad: "If you see me running, try to keep up." You have the right to remain silent anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you. A closed mouth gathers no feet. Don't you think it's unnerving that doctors call what they do "Practice"? Did you ever notice that Evian bottled water is Naive spelled backwards? Think about it..... The grass may actually be greener on the other side of the fence, but it still has to be mowed. 18) It all depends on your perspective ... An English professor wrote the words "woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed her students to punctuate it correctly. The male students wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The female students wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing." 19) A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children fell to discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster. "No," said another, "he's just for good luck." Then a third child brought the argument to a close... "They use the dog," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant." 20) A man is working on his tools when his four year old daughter comes up to him and asks "Daddy, what's sex?" Deciding that the child was old enough to know, he explained to her everything about the birds and the bees. After he was finished, he asked "Why do you ask?" The little girl, wide-eyes, says "Mommy said Dinner would be ready in a coupld of secs." | |||||||||||||||||||
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